Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Video Game Hotties

So we've all seen those millions of lists for "hottest video game chick" or the like. When there's nothing else to post, top 10 lists keep site visits high. Add in some tits and presumably the viewer count skyrockets. Unfortunately, there aren't nearly as many "hot game dude" lists... at least ones not done tongue in cheek. Here's my attempt at a nice one. It's all done from my point of view though so feel free to disagree. Honestly, post more lists. We need all we can get!


Gene - God Hand
God Hand was somehow both criminally under and overrated. Regardless, something everyone seemed to ignore was how damn hot Gene is. He goofed off like an idiot and yet still managed to kick major ass. He possesses the legendary "God Hand" which amps up his macho factor tenfold so he can beat up on guys three times his size. Anyone who can look trim and stylish while destroying everything in his path wins major points with me. 

Major Ocelot - Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater
Revolver Ocelot is a pretty enigmatic character throughout the Metal Gear Solid series but it is in MGS3 where he really caught my eye. That's probably due to the fact that he was in a much younger and mustache-less form. He was slim and was really good with his hands (just watch him do all those crazy revolver tricks). The only problem I had with this version of Ocelot was his weird meow cry thing he'd do to summon troops. It's weird.  

King - Tekken series
Tekken is one of my top fighting games to play and King is by far my favorite character to control and ogle. Yes, I know he's got a cheetah mask covering his face... It just so happens that luchadores are a guilty pleasure of mine. Besides, I like to imagine the mask signifies he's a wild man at times. Of course, in the story he is also extremely kind as he takes care of orphanage children when he's not in the ring. Gotta love those strong, sweet guys! 

Monkey - Enslaved
When I first started playing Enslaved I was kind of turned off by Monkey. He was dirty, anatomically incorrect, and generally really odd to me. As I continued to progress through the game though he started to grow on me. Perhaps it was the way his muscles rippled as he swung around and did acrobatic tricks. Perhaps it was due to the fact that his pants rode really low (much more so than this image conveys) and were tight. Oh, he was also a surprisingly caring and protective dude.

Will Powers - Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
This is another example of me fawning over a huge, musclebound guy because he has a heart of gold. Will Powers (nice name, right?) is an actor who portrays the Steel Samurai. It's some Power Rangers-esque kids show and apparently Will loves it. Aside from being a happy, heart of gold kind of guy, he's also quite the bear. He's built huge and you can always see a massive tuft of chest hair peeking out of his outfits. If only there were an occasion to see him shirtless...

Batsu Iichimonji - Rival Schools
Batsu's one hell of a tough high schooler. He has to be when everyone in the school seems to inexplicably burst into fights all the time. He's one of the good guys too, at least that was my interpretation of him - and he has a soft side. Can you see a pattern going on here with my game crushes? Either way, I really love how his school uniform is so tight on him. Amazingly, it's even tighter than this image conveys. It initially looks a little silly with his stomach peeking out under the jacket top, but you get used to it.

Falco Lombardi - Star Fox series
This one is just for fun. When I was a little kid I had so many anthropomorphic character crushes. Bowser, King K. Rool's underlings, and half the Star Fox team were just some of them. Either way, after all this time Falco is probably one of the coolest. He's so self assured and knows what he's doing. It also helps that Falco reminds me of Captain Falcon for some reason, who is also pretty hot. Star Fox has a pretty good cast of awesome characters, but Falco just edges out the others. 

Honorable Mentions: Raiden (Mortal Kombat series), Pyramid Head (Silent Hill 2), Sam "Serious" Stone (Serious Sam), Raphael (Soul Calibur series). 

If you want more game guys head to this post on The Gay Gamer which inspired me to post my own!

3 comments:

Viewtiful_Justin said...

Great list, Marcus! I think I ogled a Kremling or two at one point. And...for sure Captain Falcon. He's got a great body and a nice car! :-P

Bryan Ochalla said...

I'm with Justin on this one, Marcus -- great post! I didn't even know about a few of the guys you included on this list.

Oh, and thanks for the link back to my post :)

Marcus said...

Justin: I'm so glad I wasn't the only one! Captain Falcon is doubly awesome because his outfit shows his body off to absolutely everyone :P.

Bryan: Thanks! It was really hard for me to keep the post from being full of fighting game characters. Maybe later I could do a post based off hot characters in their respective genres... Actually, that sounds really good so I'll probably do it.

Also, no problem. :) I feel if anyone is reading my blog they would probably love yours (if they didn't come from it to begin with lol).

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