29 - Shifters (PS2)

Genre: Adventure
Rating: T
Developer: 3DO
Publisher: 3DO
Platform: PS2
Release date: 2002

With 3DO developing and publishing games such as this gem for the PS2 it's easy to see why they ended up filing for bankruptcy. Now, their Army Men games were pretty cool but beyond that they always seemed to be reaching for the stars with their boots nailed to the ground.

This isn't a fun game at all. There's glitches everywhere and I came across them over and over again. The NPCs had inane dialog that sounded like it was written by a child. The graphics were awkward and probably even put together with an in-house engine. The music was silly and would cue up improperly. For example, the battle music would begin playing when I fought enemies but it would also begin playing if I tried swinging at women in the (safe) town. Apparently the music must have been bound to sword swings.

There were loading screens between levels that I didn't even know were levels. You would go to open some doors and they would open up into another room. Some doors, however, would open to a loading screen. It was really strange, especially since none of the "levels" were all that large.

There was no real guide throughout the game so I wandered aimlessly through the halls and caves. I was able to progress pretty far thanks to the extremely forgiving health bar. Along with taking a ton of hits to go down at all, it also would regenerate over time. Overall, this game felt like a really horrible way to spend my time. I'm glad it's over.

Would I play again? No.

6 - Aqua Aqua

Genre: Puzzle
Rating: E for Everyone
Developer: Zed Two Limited
Publisher: 3DO
System: PS2
Release date: 2001

This game is a sequel to Wetrix on the Nintendo 64, but I didn't know that when I purchased it. When starting the game up and going to the main menu it was noticed that you can't just start in the main mode but must first go through a series of tutorials. I forced myself through them and quit playing after that.

The reason I gave up was because I had actually been met with a failure screen in the very first tutorial level and so the rules stated it should already be over. However, it felt kind of shameful to be taken down so quickly so I made sure it was possible for me to beat the other tutorials before putting the game back on the shelf.

What made the game difficult was the fact that the goal of the game was entirely unknown when starting it up. During each tutorial you have a professor character who shows you exactly what to do, but even then it was very confusing initially. You are supposed to build up/tear down barriers which you can deposit water into. Once you got that down it was easy to understand but the professor couldn't offer much more help.

I mimicked him as close as possible but still faced a failure screen time and time again. There was such subtlety to where you place the blocks that it was impossible for you to follow the professor exactly. In fact with those little mistakes of placing a piece just a little off it would be impossible to go back and fix. This game has the cutest exterior possible but is much too hard to have fun with.

Would I play again? No.