Phoenix Games: Game Publisher Extraordinaire

So, earlier this week I came across a game that had a really disgusting CG rendered cover. Through a bit of commenting, it brought back memories of the game company Phoenix Games. They don't operate in the US (at least under that name) but have been popping out games at least since the PS1. Back in the PS1 ways, they apparently mostly stuck to arcade/retro computer game remakes. Perhaps that's what they should have stuck with.

Once the PS2 came around Phoenix Games immediately started pumping out games with 3-5 month work cycles. They've released at least 20 titles for PS2/PC and have since moved on to Wii and even DS. I suppose the Wild West state of the Wii/DS for game publication is why this sort of thing is allowed to happen. Whatever happened to the Seal of Quality?

Now, while they say "don't judge a book by its cover" but just take a gander at these covers and tell me you don't want to judge (and yes, they are real):

I've been told "paccie", at least phonetically, is a slur in Europe. Why these people would then think to publish a game under such a title for the EU market is confusing. I've also heard it said (and from watching some videos) that the developers for many of the games are Danish, so it might make sense they were not aware of the slur. And just LOOK at that Pac-Man creature! He somehow manages to look sick and horrifying at the same time.

This is an interesting one. In fact, these characters look like severely buffed up versions of Poser models. Poser is a 3D rendering software program and comes with a few default models for play. Why create everything on your own if you can just mess with the program already came with? I'm a fan of muscles but in this case they're much too big. Much, much too big.

Now we get into what Phoenix Games is infamously known for. They rip off Disney movies. Well, I suppose one can't say they're ripping off Disney since Snow White was a story before they made a film. While the outfits and characters are reminiscent of the Disney version, I guess this game sidesteps being an exact ripoff. Snow White and the 7 Clever Boys. Exactly what makes them so "clever"?

Well, better just disregard everything I just said. Most of their other games are exact Disney ripoffs. There was no Dalmations 1 or 2 game by them either. This is simply an attempt to cash in on the Dalmatians franchise by making the game out to be the 3rd version. If they're just ripping off artwork you'd hope they were at least a better artist.

You know what? This cover isn't that bad. It's relatively dynamic except for one small point. Why would you want to play a racing game with white vans? I don't know about in Europe, but the connotation of white vans in the US isn't the most pleasant thing. At least they actually had someone using Photoshop in a halfway decent point for this cover.

Finally, I'll show you some more of their CG renders. The Snow White one was a little too good. It's apparent someone was definitely trying to make attractive characters for the cover but failed. Not to mention that they are completely weird. Why is Gretel's hand so damn small? Why does the witch in the back look more like a religious figure? These questions will never be answered.

So there are some of my favorite covers from the Phoenix Games library. Unfortunately their site is no longer online. When it was online last, they had even started a process of updating their cover art to be less horrendous. But, Phoenix Games, those covers are a part of you! What's the actual gameplay like in these things? For games like White Van Racer it is legitimately a racing game. A few of their games are actually things you can play, but the fairy tale/Disney ones are basically just cartoons. You watch a cartoon and that's about the most functionality you get, aside from playing a little puzzle game on the main menu. The cartoons themselves are done in a bad Disney style with about two voice actors who don't have a grasp on the English language. However, I will save sharing game videos for my TGIF post later on. I promise it will go far beyond your wildest expectations.

PS: If you want more awful games in your life, check out the publisher Popcorn Arcade. They're  operating in the UK, although Conspiracy Entertainment has been publishing some of the same titles in US. As for Japan, check out the Simple series (PS1, PS2, PSP). Interestingly, the publisher 505 Game Street has put out many of the Simple games under their own budget line in UK, Simply 20. For US residents, D3 has published some of their most popular or profitable titles here which are basically sequels to the Simple 2000 games (Onechanbara and Earth Defense Force).